'I love my kids with a primal passion but when they hit puberty I wanted to hand them back for a refund. If only I'd had this witty, gritty owner's manual. It's a pithy, practical guide for all deranged parents.' KATHY LETTE

'I wish I'd read this book before I acquired the three teenagers I have. Very useful.' CRAIG REUCASSEL

'This book should be compulsory reading for teenagers, but since they already know everything, I highly recommend it for their parents instead.' DEE MADIGAN

'This book articulates the frustrations and stresses of modern parenting and provides a reassuring reality check on how to navigate the choppy waters of raising teens in an always-on, screen-obsessed world.' JOCELYN BREWER, psychologist

So, you're having a teenager? Congratulations/commiserations.

Worried about drugs? We recommend Valium, wine and HRT.

Happy you survived the toddler tantrums? Let us introduce you to the eye roll, the cold shoulder and the incoherent mumble.

On the bright side, you've reduced your need for Google - your adolescent is now able to frequently correct, hector and lecture you with their strong opinion on everything. And if you feel tired, you're not imagining it. Teen years are like dog years: for every year your teen ages, you age seven.

You need a survival guide for the testing times ahead. Friends, next-door neighbours and fellow mums of teens Sarah Macdonald and Cathy Wilcox have lived through it all and produced this straight-talking, not entirely sarcastic, informative guide to what for many parents are the most challenging - but interesting and exciting - years in the role.

From A is for Argumentative, Awkward and Angst, to Z is for Zits and Zzzzzs. Because having a toddler is a doddle.